Filed under Junk Drawer.

Ok, this is not runway speak. My cat now takes walks. No, it’s true. My cat, Lord Vader, also known as “Kitten” should have been called Houdini. He is an escape artist. When we adopted him from the Humane Society all the sweet ladies there became dark demons hissing and scorching me with their laser eyes as they demanded, “You will keep him indoors, yes?!” I nodded submissively, “Yes, of course, anything to keep him safe.” I was afraid they would pull him from my protective arms. Then the same thing happened at the vet. It was drilled into me, keep him indoors. What these good intending folks did not realize was Lord Vader was raised for the first four months of his life at a foster home who apparently didn’t get the memo. This means Lord Vader had no concept of staying indoors. At first his little meowing was charming, cute, and adorable. That lasted five minutes. Making sure all his needs were met (as a good mommy would), he had food, water, clean litter, safe warm bed, loved on, lots of toys, etc. He would still roam aimlessly and cry, every once in a while shooting a glance at windows and doors, planning his escape. The first time he slipped past one of us it was like a dark arrow shooting through the air, quickly out of sight, and then a glimpse of streaking black as he bound for joy behind bushes, under parked cars, and through flower beds. I had to use a can of tuna to entice him back to his loving owners. We endured his crying and whining for months after. I broke down and bought him one of those harnesses, perhaps I could give him some outside time and it would calm him. On the first time out he slunk around, embarrassed by the contraption and the leash. No more bounding and flying through the air. Second time out, Houdini had figured a way out. I watched helplessly as he backed away out of reach and slowly slipped out of the harness backwards moving his shoulders to impossible angles. I sighed and almost cried. Finally JH had enough, he said we would tag him, collar him with our info, and let him out with our blessing. What is wonderful is Lord Vader is smart enough to track where home is, only going out a bit of a time and tracking back to our porch. I guess he does love us and knows where regular food will be provided. Now when I take Maggy, our dog, out for a walk Lord Vader goes with us.